“My family were hidden Jews, but not anymore. With this coming-of-age ritual, I’m proudly reclaiming my Jewish heritage.” Said Robert Powell, a 65-year-old Wisconsinite about his recent Bar Mitzvah at Chabad of Mequon, Wisconsin.
Robert’s mother and her sister were raised in Hamburg, Germany. They were fortunate to flee in 1939 shortly before Poland fell to the Nazis, ym’sh. The escalating persecution of the Jews was woven into the fabric of their childhood. They experienced things that no children ever should. Anxiety and fear became part of their psyche.They made a pact to suppress their Jewish identities. True to their word, they took their secrets to the grave. Discarding all documents and photographs that might reveal the family’s Jewish ties, they refused to discuss their lives prior to arriving at Ellis Island.
Robert grew up knowing literally nothing about Jews and Judaism. His father was an Episcopalian with a heritage tracing back to England and Wales. Before college, he barely even met a Jew. His cousin David, on the other hand, always felt drawn to the Jewish faith. He felt deep down that he was Jewish. It was in his soul. Discovering that they had relatives in Germany, Argentina and Brazil, he discerned that they were either Nazis, G-d forbid, or Jews. The more his questions were met with silence and denials from his mother and aunt, the greater the fire in his belly to dig deeper. His yearning for the truth started his search into his genealogy.
Traveling to New York about eight years ago to bring his daughter to college, Robert stayed with David. Before he had a chance to unpack his bags, his cousin proclaimed: “Guess what? We are Jewish!”
Relatives from Germany had visited the week before and brought proof positive from the Stolpersteine Project*, which remembers the victims of the Holocaust by installing commemorative plaques with their names on stones in front of their last address. They had documented not only Rob’s maternal family tree dating back several generations, but a narrative and biographical information to accompany it as well. Robert’s great grandmother and her sister-in-law died in Auschwitz. Two of her siblings also perished. There was correspondence between relatives expressing how disheartened they were to hear about the pact his mother had made with her sister to conceal their Jewish heritage from their children.
After being kept in the dark for years, it was difficult at first for Robert to grasp the shocking disclosure – how something so evident, like one’s religion and identity, became a well-kept family secret.
A year ago, the subject line of an email from Mequon Torah Center caught his eye. A decade earlier, Rob attended the Bat Mitzvah of one of his daughter’s middle school friends at Chabad of Mequon and wrote his email address in the guest book. He had been receiving weekly emails from them ever since that went unread. Robert filled out the short survey sent out by Rabbi Doobie Lisker, newly appointed educational director at Mequon Torah Center. Robert noted that he had recently found out that he was Jewish and would like to explore his true self – the Jew he always was.
Intrigued by Rob’s response, Doobie arranged to meet up with him and hear his story. “He has been teaching me about Judaism ever since,” said Rob. “From our first meeting, I just wanted to be like him. He embodies the values that are inherent and central to Torah, morality, meaningful living, kindness, ethics, and righteousness. I hold him in the highest esteem.”
With the zeal of an investigative reporter, Doobie reviewed the Stolpersteine Project’s records and researched Rob’s maternal lineage further. Employing the Chabad worldwide network, he contacted Rabbi Teichtel in Berlin, who connected him with an organization where he was able to procure Rob’s grandparents’ Hamburg Jewish tax cards proving that in the Hamburg Jewish community, they were known to be Jews. After gathering all the supporting evidence, Doobie consulted with a Rabbinical expert in Sydney, Australia, who determined that Robert is indeed a full-fledged Halachically accepted Jew. Next Doobie arranged for Rob to have a Brit Milah (circumcision) and he was named Yitzchak!
Judaism resonated with Rob immediately. With Doobie’s guidance he began to wrap Tefillin regularly and set goals for himself working towards learning more and committing to mitzvot, one at a time. But as he began making the transition back to Judaism, he encountered a variety of personal dilemmas and insecurities.
At times, he felt vulnerable and incomplete because he was not a ‘fully formed’ Jew. He grew up without the embrace of a Jewish community and lacked that essential factor of the Jewish religious practice and experience. He often worried that his fellow Jews wouldn’t want to embrace him because he was a ‘diluted version’ of what was supposed to be Jewish.
Robert knew deep down that he was being disingenuous not only to them but also to himself and his ancestors, whose sacrifice and exceptional courage kept our Jewish legacy alive. And then, with Doobie at his side and with the Rappaport’s (the rabbi and his family) and his newfound community at Chabad of Mequon, a journey of self-love and acceptance began. Slowly but surely, a tremendous burden was lifted. He was living his authentic life with a sense of peace and belonging.
A few months later, Robert began toying with the idea of having a Bar Mitzvah to confirm his identity. He said that one of Doobie’s famous sayings was, “Never put off a mitzvah”. This made him actualize his plans.
A soft white carpet of snow covered the asphalt and barren boughs of trees coated with ice crystals glistened in the sun on that perfect Thursday, January 7, 2021. The sanctuary was filled with ten close friends and family members, while many others joined via live stream due to Covid 19.
Robert, who had celebrated his 65th birthday the day before when his Jewish and secular birthdays coincided stepped up to the bimah (lectern) wearing his Tefillin and newly purchased Tallit (prayer shawl) in addition to a wide and contagious smile not unlike those seen by proud 13-year-old boys celebrating their Jewish milestone.
“For a 13-year-old a Bar Mitzvah is a starting point of the teenage and then adult years,” began Rob. “For me I carry my life on my back. My Bar Mitzvah is an arrival, an affirmation, a coming home. My Bar Mitzvah firmly links the past with the present. If we don’t understand where we’ve come from, how do we understand who we really are?”
“My ancestors overcame many obstacles – oppression, fear, and tyranny,” he said. “But they persevered. They lived their lives with dignity, bravery, and the determination to keep alive our Jewish heritage, our legacy, and our Jewishness. It only remains for me to honor them by living fully and openly as the Jews we were and always will be.” Slightly adapted from an article by Batya Schochet Lisker, mother of Rabbi Doobie Lisker. Seen in Lamplighter #1682Story is in honor of my JNET partner, a Jewess in central Georgia who was raised Christian and always felt she had a Jewish soul.Today she is a practicing and knowledgeable Jewish woman looking out for others who are Jewish. JNET is The Jewish Learning Network which matches up a teacher and student who learn together one on one by phone, a Jewish subject of the students choice. They can be contacted at:
http://www.jnet.org
*Stolpersteine Project – is a project of the German artist Gunter Deming which began in 1992. It commemorates people who were persecuted by the Nazis ym’sh between 1933-1945. The names and fate of the victims are engraved into a brass plate on top of each Stolpersteine. As of June 2023, over 100,000 plates have been laid. Looking for information about your family? Check it out online.
Melava Malka Stories 